It's Elementary, My Dear Friends.

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Wedding Planning Pins That Are Actually Useful

I've spent an awful lot of time this week browsing around the Wedding Boards on Pinterest. It's easy to get carried away on there -  doesn't it seem like an hour goes by in a matter of minutes? TJ passed an interesting comment to me yesterday about how Pinterest is a waste of time because it's making me second guess ideas and think about adding 100 more DIY projects to our To-Do list. He's right. So, in honor of that I decided to search for some useful Wedding Pins to share with other brides to be. :) Enjoy!

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Are you on Pinterest? Leave your username in a comment below!

I Can Breathe Again.

I must applaud myself for keeping my shit semi-together in Texas. 

If you read between the lines of the few posts that I did published from November on, you might have been able to formulate that I was miserable there. 

Being harassed for six months - by fellow hockey wives nonetheless - was not a part of the deal when TJ signed his contract. 

It wasn't a part of our conversation during the three day, 1,550 mile drive to Texas. Remember? We were so excited for our new adventure.

I've contemplated for weeks now how I should address this. I was told by management that I couldn't write about it - heaven forbid I "retaliate" about the verbal attacks that I received on my blog, the physical attacks that I received in the hockey arena, or the harassment that I received at my own home.

Obviously every individual in a family isn't going to get along - and that's what you become when you join a new hockey team - a family. You don't all have to get along, but you still have to respect one another. The disgusting acts that I was the target of were so mortifying that I didn't want to go to my friends back home for advice - I mean seriously, what kind of humiliating and childish shit had I been dragged into? And what about the other wives and girlfriends on the team who weren't directly involved? Well, needless to say - they became involved by no choice of their own. Everyone was involved, in one way or another, and it unfortunately made for an awfully awkward situation just a few short weeks into a long season.

And all season long, I felt like these girls were winning - their version of winning, anyway. I felt defeated and broken down to my core. I was so upset with myself that I wasn't strong enough to take what I knew - that I was better than them and their classless actions - and hold my head high. There was not a single hockey game that I went to (which hello!, was the only reason we were in Texas to begin with) - where I didn't worry that I'd be shoved or verbally attacked. I was embarrassed to admit that I was depressed over this. I felt pathetic that I didn't want to leave our apartment because I didn't want to bump into these girls who were neighbors.

So instead, I would sit at home and sometimes cry, "We did not sign in the Central Hockey League to tolerate this bullshit." 

Or maybe we did. 

I kept comparing these girls to the women that I have met along the way in the AHL and the ECHL. The ladies who would never behave how the girls in Texas behaved, out of sheer fear that their actions would reflect on their boyfriends/husbands, who would be released the next morning. I've seen it happen. I was told that it would happen. I kept waiting for it to happen.

It never happened.

So for six months, I was forced to tolerate this.

Truthfully, I'm surprised that we made it to the end. I'm impressed that TJ pushed through and had such a great playoff run.

So why am I writing about this now that it's over?

Well for one, because we will never return to a team who was made aware of this type of situation and never followed through with an appropriate solution. Plain and simple, they can't dictate what I write about anymore. I followed orders when we were in Texas simply because I respect TJ's career enough to not jeopardize it. To say that I am relieved that this hockey season is over is an understatement. 

Second, I have drafted post after post but none of them have felt right. I haven't been able to be my authentic self. I haven't been able to write about something that consumed a substantial amount of my emotion, my energy, and my time. I'm sorry but when life isn't perfect, I can't post pictures of unicorns and cotton candy. I just can't. So ... I've hardly posted at all. I pride myself on being open and honest here, that's what makes this space - my space - so therapeutic at times. But I was told I couldn't be honest. I couldn't say a word. And now? ... Now I can do whatever I want. So I am.

It was a lot to handle, and I thank God that it's over - not only because I'm no longer under attack, but because I can look back on the past few months of my life and smile. A genuine smile. I can breathe again. I can write again. I can look forward to this summer, our wedding, and our future both together and with hockey, knowing that it will never, ever be as awful as it was this past season.

Words For The Weekend | Instructions For Life

by The Dalai Lama

Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

Memorize your favorite poem.

Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

When you say, “I love you”, mean it.

When you say “I’m sorry” look the person in the eye.
Believe in love at first sight.

Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

Don’t judge people by their relatives.
Talk slowly but think quickly.

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Call your family often.

Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for your actions.

Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Spend some time alone.

Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Read more books and watch less TV.

Live an honorable life. When you get older and look back, you’ll get to enjoy it again.

Trust in God but lock your car.

In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

Read between the lines.

Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.

Be gentle with the earth.

Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.

Never interrupt when you are being flattered.

Mind your own business.

At least once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

Learn the rules then break some.

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Remember that your character is your destiny.

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Wedding Wednesday | The No Play List

Today I am off to both my trial hair run and my first dress fitting. EEK!

There are 10 weeks until the wedding and I thought it would be fun to start asking for help with planning a few small things that will make up a big part of our day!

First up is the NO PLAY LIST.

TJ and I will be meeting with our DJ in the next few weeks to discuss the ceremony and reception music.

We have to provide him with a list of songs that we don't want played at the wedding. DJ-Man is already considered to be a pretty cool dude in my book because he doesn't play the Velveeta cheesy songs such as the Conga, Macarena, Electric Boogie, The Train or YMCA, so I don't have to worry about those types.

The other "do not play" songs that immediately come to mind are:

It's Raining Men

Celebration

Love Shack

Butterfly Kisses

Tears in Heaven

I Will Survive

What would you add to the list?